How You Remind Me
by Captain Torres
Summary: Two years ago, Lt. B'Elanna Torres made a very big mistake. With the death of her husband, she comes to realize that she just might have a chance to make everythin right, if only Captain Janeway will let her... (I have just added CH3; almost finished)
1. Prologue

How You Remind Me

By Captain Torres

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Prologue

B'Elanna Torres sighed tiredly, and looked at the empty Data PADD in her hand for what seemed like the millionth time. It glared back at her mockingly. She had been sitting on her couch, in the same position, for what seemed like hours, the blank piece of technology her only companion.

With a frustrated grunt, she heaved the PADD across the room, smiling triumphantly when she heard it shatter on the opposite wall. The smile quickly disappeared, and was replaced by a frown and a muttered Klingon curse, as she realized that it would probably come out of her rations.

Sighing again, she flopped violently back, her head connecting with the furniture with a muted thud. Instead of following her instinct and jerking forward to rub the sore area, she pressed back harder, pleased when it throbbed painfully. She deserved it. And more.

It was this day, two years ago, that she had screwed up. Two years ago that Kathryn- no, the Captain now- had left her. Even after all this time, she still had to swallow tears at the memory. Tears that left a raw, bitter taste in her throat. She'd give anything to take back what she had done…

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TBC

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AN: _Tell me what ya think and if ya wanna see more, otherwise, I'm scrapping it. Thanks._


	2. How It Begins

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Chapter One 

How It Begins

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2 Years Earlier

Strong, small, hands flew over the console, their owner frantically trying to prevent a Core breech. "Come on, come on, come on." Torres pleaded with the Ship. "Just hang on for twenty more seconds, and it'll all be over." From experience alone, she knew that her comment had earned her a raised eyebrow from Seven of Nine, who was working directly beside her. 

"I do not see how pleading with the computer, as if it were sentient, will postpone a breech." the blonde remarked, not looking up from her workstation.

"Shut up _Borg_, and concentrate on your work." growled the Engineer, punching at her controls more furiously. 

The taller woman chose to ignore the implied threat. "There is no need to become agitated, Lieutenant. I was simply making an observation." Seven's fingers danced quickly across the controls, irritating B'Elanna to no end. How could she be so calm at a time like this?

Before the Klingon could respond, the other woman triggered an energy surge, and the circuits in her console fused. It exploded in Torres' face, projecting her twenty feet across the room, and into a wall. Her head connected solidly with a loud 'thud', and she swirled into the darkness, her last thoughts, to throttle the Borg enhanced Astrometrics Officer.

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The first thing B'Elanna Torres became aware of was the throbbing pain in her head. The second thing that filtered into her conscious was the smell of blood, and the feel of the sticky substance sliding down her right temple. "Ow." she groaned, sitting up and putting a hand to her wound. 

Everything around her was calm, no explosions, or people running about. Obviously her efforts had paid off, and the Warp Core was stable. "I'm not getting paid enough for this." she mumbled to herself, chuckling as she rose to her feet. 

"Ah, Lieutenant, you are conscious." she heard a cold voice pronounce. "For a moment, I believed you were severely damaged." There was a momentary pause. "I was… worried." There was an inflection in the voice, making it sound almost sincere.

_Almost_, Torres thought, glaring at the busty blonde. _Stop that!_ She growled at herself, _you are not supposed to notice her… But, they're so **out**_ _there! _"Yeah, I'll just bet you were." she snarled, advancing, just as angry with herself for noticing the blonde's anatomy, as at the woman herself. "Especially since it was your fault that I was tossed practically through the wall!"

"You exaggerate." Seven replied evenly, crossing her arms over her abundant chest. "And, it was not my 'fault.' I was trying to prevent the Core from breeching. It was coincidental that my command coincided with an energy surge that resulted in the detonation of your console. It was happening at random, throughout Engineering." she rationalized, arms coming down and around, hands coming to rest at the small of her back, in her typical stance.

The young Klingon opened her mouth to snap out a retort, but was cut off by another, more pleasant voice. "Everything's back to working order, I see." Both women started and spun to face the commenter. 

"Ka-Captain." B'Elanna stammered, and tried not to let the radiant smile she felt coming on show.

"B'Elanna. Seven." the Captain said, giving them each a fond look, though to be fair, the one the fiery Engineer received was considerably more intimate. "Saved us again, I see." The slight woman's eyes flicked back to Seven. "Good work. I'm proud of you." 

The words were warm, laced with a trusting sincerity that made Torres bristle. "No problem Captain. Just doing our jobs." she replied, shrugging and letting the corner of her mouth turn up in a grin. In reality, she did not feel like smiling anymore. _Remember, jealousy is a bad thing,_ she reminded herself, trying to shake off the feeling. What the Captain said next did not help things.

"Oh. You too, Lieutenant." Janeway said, looking back at her lover, and giving her a playful wink. The comment was not taken as the jest it was meant to be.

"Yes, well, if it hadn't been for Ms. Perfect Borg there, it would have been a lot quicker. She fried my controls. I'm just lucky I have such a thick skull, or I'd be dead." she groused, crossing her arms over her chest, and doing her best to turn her pout into anger.

She knew she was being childish, but she didn't care. She hated it when Kathryn acknowledged the Borg over her. And besides, it was mostly her effort, and the competency of her fantastic subordinates, that kept Voyager from flying apart. 

But somehow, the blonde bombshell always seemed to soak up some of the Sun, so to speak. Torres would bet a month's Replicator rations that the tall Astrometrics Officer was trying to get the Captain's more… personal, attentions.

"B'Elanna." the husky voice held a steel edge of warning. "That was uncalled for. I suggest that you see to your wound, stow your attitude, and get back to work. And, should this continue, you can spend your off hours contemplating how to play nice." The threat was obvious, 'Don't mess with my pet Borg', though she knew Kathryn would never call Seven that. 

"Of course, Captain." she got out through clenched teeth. She was in the doghouse, and she knew it. _All thanks to that damn Borg…_ She waited to be dismissed to go back to work, glancing at the object of her anger. Seven looked a bit stiffer then normal, and maybe a little amused at her discomfort. _Borg bitch! _her mind hissed, but she reined it in, saving it for later.

"As you were." the Captain all but growled, turning on her heel. "We still on for later, Seven?" she asked, almost as an after thought.

"Of course, Captain." the ex-Borg inclined her head, setting Torres' teeth on edge.

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That blonde bitch is flirting with MY Kathryn, she yelled mentally, trembling with the need to strike out at something, or someone. She knew, deep down, that she was being unreasonable, but, she didn't care.

"I'm fine, by the way. Thanks for asking." the diminutive Klingon mumbled under her breath, wiping the drying blood from her eyes, and turning to get back to work, knowing that Janeway couldn't hear her. 

Seven, on the other hand, thanks to her Borg enhancements, could hear her, and did. "Are you alright. Lieutenant? Do you require assistance?"

"I'm fine, _Seven_. Just get back to work." she barked tersely, not turning to face the other woman, in an effort to control herself. If she had, she would have caught the look of hurt that passed through the blonde's eyes.

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TBC

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AN: _Next Chapter, I actually go into what she did. (*sarcastically* Oh. Yay.) What do _YOU_ think is gonna happen?? A Brownie point to the person who gets it right (maybe, if you collect enough points, I'll give you a prize). Come on, guess, I dare ya!_ ^_^


	3. It's Clear To Me Now

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Chapter Two

It's Clear To Me Now

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"Present"

B'Elanna Torres felt sick to her stomach. The sensation had nothing to do with a decline in her health (she was exceptionally robust individual), or her current impregnated state, and everything to do with the sight that unfolded before her as she stepped into Sick Bay.

When the Doctor had summoned her to his domain, the young half-Klingon had not known what to expect. She had caught the note of urgency in the holographic man's voice, and so she had hurried from her comfortable bed, into a pair of jeans and loose T-shirt (nothing was comfortable these days), and out her door. She had barely been mindful of the people that traversed the corridors, only aware that she had to be in Sick Bay, **_now_**! Nothing could have prepared her for what she saw when she entered the unnaturally quiet room.

Stepping through the automatic doors, the fiery Engineer was greeted with a devastating sight. The two people she cared most about rested parallel to each other on their respective bio-beds, their pale faces whiter then usual, totally bloodless. Her husband, usually boisterous and lighthearted, lay unmoving, bright eyes closed, and skin appearing almost waxy; the usually animated Kathryn Janeway lay half-dazed, trying, against the Doctor's loud protests, to sit up.

"Sweet Kahless! What happened?!?" she demanded, moving towards her Captain on instinct, before catching herself and treading to Tom's side.

"There was an accident," the Doctor said hesitantly, unsure. He quickly moved beside Janeway, hypospray in hand.

"No, damnit! Help Tom, I'm fine." the auburn haired woman insisted, trying, unsuccessfully, to push the hologram away. He pressed the device to her neck, and her objections quieted down, as she slipped into drug induced unconsciousness.

B'Elanna took one of Paris' hands in her own, sparing the unnaturally cool skin at his wrist a kiss, then brought it to her cheek, holding it there and looking onto his slack face for long moments. She could smell his blood, and sensed that it was not moving through his veins. He was dead as sure as she was still alive. She allowed herself to shed a solitary tear, before raising her eyes to the Doctor again.

"What happened…?"

2 Years Earlier

B'Elanna Torres stormed down the corridors with a vengeance, muttering to herself as she went. "Stupid Borg. She comes in and takes over, and then I get in hot water when I protest. This isn't fair!" she growled, trying not to remember exactly how well Seven's biosuit clung to her, or the harsh tone of voice Kathryn had taken with her. 

She had a quick moment of unguarded jealousy, and it left her seeing red. _What if she _**does** _prefer the Borg over me? What if she's being seduced behind my back? _She snorted angrily to herself, approaching the nearest turbo lift, and entering it. 

Another insecure idea struck her. _What if she doesn't need to be seduced…?_ The thought made her shiver deep down, and she suddenly wanted very much to break something.

The door slid open with a hiss, revealing Tom Paris, as if the Gods had known her need. "Oh goody." she mumbled, glaring at him. Then the thought struck her, and her sour face turned syrupy sweet. _I can make her jealous; I can make her feel what I'm feeling._ And suddenly, she had a plan… 

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TBC

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AN: _What exactly _did _happen to Tom and the Captain? Tell me what you thought of this, and you may find out. _

I know it took forever to get this out, and that it's not very long, BUT_, I haven't had very much time, with my annoying, stressful, overstuffed life, and all (I haven't had my coffee today, so, forgive me if I sound snippy). Please, tell what you thought, and the next Chapter will be at least twice as long. _


	4. Will You Be Here For Me Tomorrow

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Chapter Three

Will You Be Here For Me Tomorrow

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2 Years Ago

"Are you sure about this? I mean it, could all be in your mind B'Elanna." Harry reasoned, looking nervously from his friend to the Holodeck doors and back again, trying his best not to look as uneasy as he was.

"Will you relax, Starfleet? Look, I'm not actually going to do anything with Tom. Not only do I find the idea slightly repulsive, but, I _do_ love her, no matter how angry I am." She paused, trying to contain her irritation at his doubt. "But, I mean, you have to admit, she and Seven are entirely too close lately. Tell the truth Harry, and I'll believe you. Am I seeing things, or is there… something, there?"

He sighed, not wanting to feed the half-Klingon's paranoia, but not wanting to lie. He did have to admit, if just to himself, that he had noticed something brewing between the Captain, and the blonde Astrometrics Officer. At first, he had thought that it was just the gratitude of a rescued woman, and the responsibilities of a mentor, but now he wasn't so sure…

"Look, I'll admit they're close. But-" he said quickly, cutting her off before she could say anything, "that doesn't mean there is something going on behind your back. I can't even believe that you would think that Captain Janeway would betray you like that." he admonished, shaking his head in minor disgust, at his friend's mistrust for their Commanding Officer. "She's your lover, for Christ sake!" he whispered harshly, quickly looking around again, to see if anyone had heard. No one had.

That got her attention. Her eyes flashed, and she regarded him with a fierce look. "And just how many people know that? Hmm?"

"Well-"

"None!" she interrupted, getting angrier by the second. She shifted in her seat, leaning closer across the table, so that her face was close to his, and he could see the pain and indignation in her chocolate brown eyes. "I can count how many on my hand. She won't show her so-called love for me in public, but, she's got no problem showing affection for Seven. It's not fair. I feel like someone's dirty little secret." she spat, trying to get her breathing under control. Harry was just glad that they were in Sandrine's, the dimness and background music covered their movements and conversation.

"B'Elanna, you should really be talking to _her_ about this, not me. I think that she had no idea what this is doing to you, and that if you just gave her a chance, and explained it to her, she would see things your way." he replied sagely, thinking to himself that it was good advice. "And besides, I don't like the idea of you _using _Tom just to make the Captain jealous." he added, shaking his head again.

B'Elanna gave her younger crewmate an almost condescending smile; too lost in her own plans now. "Look, Harry, it's not really _using_ him, so much as being a bit more friendly then usual. Once Kathryn sees me turning my affection elsewhere, she'll see that she's been neglecting me, and we'll work it out. Besides, I'm not going to be that obvious, and Tom won't complain, I'm sure."

"The least you could do is discuss this with Tom. You should really consider his feelings," the young Asian reasoned.

The Engineer had the good grace to look guilty. "I'm not sure he would agree if I told him. And, I really think this will work. He doesn't have to know. I don't want to hurt his feelings, but, I have to do this." she explained, sighing tiredly. 

"Well, I just hope you know what you're doing." Harry said finally, standing and heading for the door. Torres just nodded at his back, sitting back and going over her plan one more time in her head.

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"Present"

"He was a good Officer, a good husband, and a good man. Not to mention, a fine pilot, and a hell of a friend. He will be sorely missed. I just hope that his sacrifice was not in vain." The Captain's words barely registered with B'Elanna, who had been in a daze since she had left Sickbay, almost 24 hours ago.

The world swirled about her in dizzying, nauseating colors, making her breath catch in her throat and her stomach clench. She still couldn't believe that he was dead. 

They had argued that morning, and she had left their quarters angry. Their last words to each other had not been ones of love and trust, instead she had growled and cursed, and he had shouted and mocked. And now, she didn't have the opportunity to tell him how sorry she was, and just how much she loved him.

She was startled out of her misery by a small, but firm hand on her shoulder. "B'Elanna." Captain Janeway began, but she was cut off.

"I-I'm fine Captain, really. No-no need to w-worry." She tried to assure, but her voice weak and wavering.

"No B'Elanna," Janeway chided gently, rubbing the uniformed shoulder blade in slow, soothing circles. "You're not fine, and I don't expect you to be. You are going to take a vacation, starting today-" the redhead held up her hand to stall argument. "You're due soon. I was going to tell you to take time off anyway. You are off until at least a month after the birth, and not a day less. Understood?" The words were as firm as the touch.

The pain burst into B'Elanna's chest, shocking her enough to make her gasp. Even after all this time, she still felt the connection between them. She could almost taste the concern, the love that the other woman had for her. She could also feel that Kathryn wanted nothing more then to comfort a good friend at the moment. She was grateful, though oddly saddened. She was sure she couldn't handle it, at the moment, if the Captain should want anything more from her, but, she so desperately needed the bond that they had had. So much that her stomach clenched even tighter.

"What is it B'Elanna? I… I can sense that there's something you need. I don't know exactly how, but at the moment it doesn't matter. Please, tell me if there is anything I can do for you. Now, or anytime in the future. You know that I'm always here for you." Janeway sounded almost desperate.

"I know, Captain, I-" 

This time, when her stomach clenched, she knew that it wasn't emotion. "I need you-" she was interrupted by another wave of pain. The Captain mistook it for a moment of indecision.

"Yes B'Elanna? What is it? You knew you can trust me." The Engineer nodded, taking deep breaths.

"I need you to get me to sickbay; I think I'm having my baby." 

With a quick nod, Kathryn Janeway slipped an arm around Torres' waist, using the other hand to tap the communicator at her breast. "Janeway to Doctor."

"Yes Captain, go ahead."

"I'm on my way with B'Elanna. She's in labor. Be ready."

"Acknowledged.

Taking the half-Klingon's arm she draped it over her shoulders, and with and surprising strength, she took most of the other woman's weight onto herself. "Don't worry B'Elanna, I've got you." She said, and moved them to the door, into the turbolift, and to the Doctor.

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AN: _Whelp, another chapter done. I doubt that anyone is still with me now, but, for those of you who are thank you. I will be wrapping this baby up in the next two chapters (yes, I have it all planned out now). Please, tell me what you think. And, since I'm pretty bored, and have nothing to do at the moment, I wouldn't say no to any suggestions on another story to work on._

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PS I would have updated sooner, but, my computer and the internet are having a fight, and every time I tried to, the computer went *fritzsputterfritz* and refused. Not an excuse (I don't need any), just an explanation.


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